The “Logic” of Baby Sleep

Unless you’re one of the lucky elite whose children started sleeping for twelve uninterrupted hours practically at birth, you have probably felt the maniacal desperation of wanting your kids to please. just. sleep. (If you are one of those lucky elite, you should probably maintain your distance from me, for your own safety.)

In the confused early moments of the morning, I find myself trying to assign logical reasons for why the baby didn’t sleep well that night. When I put my theories down on paper (computer screen?) ,I see that they sound like the musings of a lunatic, but that aptly describes most parents of young children; therefore, I present, Reasons My Kid Didn’t Sleep:

  1. The room was warm.
  2. The room was cold.
  3. He had socks on.
  4. He had no socks on.
  5. He had one sock on.
  6. I fed him a big dinner.
  7. He barely ate dinner.
  8. The white noise machine was a little loud.
  9. The white noise machine was too quiet.
  10. The nightlight was too bright.
  11. The room was too dark.
  12. He had only one pacifier in the crib.
  13. He had half a dozen pacifiers in the crib.
  14. He had a blanket on.
  15. He didn’t have a blanket on.
  16. I put him to bed.
  17. My husband put him to bed.
  18. A grandparent put him to bed.
  19. A babysitter he has never met put him to bed.
  20. A hobo off the street put him to bed.

The sad truth is I HAVE HAD ALL THESE THOUGHTS (okay, not #20). On the flip side, after a great night of sleep, I also search for a reason. Now I present, Reasons My Kid Slept Well:

  1. See above list

Tell me I’m not alone here, and that there are crazy reasons you make up??



8 thoughts on “The “Logic” of Baby Sleep


    I’m laughing so so hard, because its so true. Oh goodness, you are notttt alone.
    Our daughter (almost six months old) slept all night last night and I’m so confused what was different last night than the previous night and the night before that.
    Ha! Thank you for this uplifting read. ❤ Keep going mama.


    1. Thanks for the support. Every time we have one good night, it’s followed by a half dozen bad ones, which means lots of coffee (and wine) for me!

  2. I hate to tell you this, but my son didn’t sleep through the night until he was nearly 2, but the day did finally come!

    This post is awesome and exactly how I felt every night for 2 years. My two girls did much better at sleeping earlier on, but I still had every thought.

    Hang in there!

  3. Love this Jenny! My MIL and I had this exact conversation this morning, bc Ryan slept 6.5 hours straight on Monday night (awesomeness!!), but last night was up at 9pm, 11:30pm, 2am, 3:30am, 5am, and when Caleb woke up at 6:30am, Ryan decided to sleep until 10am!!

    Our additions to the list:
    – I didn’t drink enough water that day to produce adequate breast milk
    – Big brother was making too much noise / wasn’t making enough noise (Ryan sleeps well with background noise, even the vacuum!)
    – Didn’t get outside enough / spent too much time outside

    1. The real question is, when Ryan slept for 6.5 hours, did you?? Whenever Will has a good stretch, I’m awake by habit and then watching the clock expecting him to get up. I never had the thought of me being dehydrated…thanks for adding that to my crazy list lol.

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