Things are well underway at our new house. It’s a massive construction zone and we’re very grateful we have my parents’ house to crash at until everything is completed. Because I watched an obscene amount of HGTV when I was on maternity leave with Nolan, I was prepared for the contractor and his crew to find unexpected expenses. We selected a company whose bid was really low and did so knowing that he would probably add lots of expenses along the way (“Oh you want the molding painted, too?”), and he has. In the interest of saving money, here are some of the things you DON’T want to hear:

10. “I didn’t realize there was plaster under there.”

9. When referring to existing work in the house, “The guys who did this really screwed it up.” See also: “They didn’t know what they were doing,” and “They were really lazy.”

8.  “That’s not to code.” See also: “That’s illegal.” This implies it needs to be redone. $$$$.

7. “That’s a pain in the ass to install.” This implies it takes a long time. $$$$.

6. When attempting to replace an old rusty-looking piece of baseboard heat, “There isn’t any heat going to your bathroom.” This implies you need heat (duh) and it has to be completely set up and connected.

5. “Wow, there isn’t any heat in the upstairs bathroom either. How did this lady shower in the winter with no heat??”

4. “That’s not cheap.” This implies it’s really expensive. $$$$$$$$.

3. “They had this whole thing on one circuit!” This implies you need more circuits. $$$$.

2. “You can’t just leave it like that.” This implies more work needs to be done. $$$$.

1. “That’s custom.” See also: “That’s not stock,” and “That has to be specially made.”