Being a New Mom: Second Baby Edition

When Nolan was a baby, I read countless articles, blogs, top ten lists etc. about being a new mom. Then when I was pregnant with Will, I read all sorts of things about what you do differently the second time around. One of my favorites was this list I saw on A Cup of Jo. It’s from Jason Good’s book This is Ridiculous, This is Amazing. Some of them made me seriously laugh out loud like,

“TV Rules: First Kid: PBS/Sesame Street only. Two 23-minute shows per day.

Second Kid: Has his own Netflix account.”

Friends and family (and strangers actually) have asked, “Isn’t it so much harder with two?” And in a few ways it is. Leaving the house is a beast. It doesn’t help that in New York we’ve had a brutal winter. Wrestling Nolan and his giant jacket into his car seat is reason enough to move to Southern California; then you add packing up Will and all his stuff and hauling his heavy car seat back and forth everywhere. My back hurts just thinking about it. (And because I did it this morning when it was 10 degrees out.)

The evenings are also tough. I miss having those few quiet hours after Nolan goes to bed when Matt and I catch up on the DVR and drink some wine. Some nights we luck out and Will goes to sleep at 8ish, but most nights he’s up until closer to 9 or 10 and then I end up just going to bed at the same time because I’m exhausted!

But for the most part, I actually find it easier having two. I know this may change once Will is on the move, but I’ll enjoy this time until then. I guess since Will is here, Nolan kind of understands that I can’t do 100% of what he wants me to do and he’s more independent for it. He can keep busy “playing hockey”…

IMG_4363… or trying on my boots.


Obviously the biggest factor in having an easier time is the experience! When you’ve done it before, you don’t worry about the same silly stuff you did the first time. I also haven’t put the same rules on myself. Through no one’s fault but my own, people’s innocent advice turned into DANGER! DANGER! WARNING! in my head. So here is my advice that I hope will calm any new mom nerves out there.

1. Hold your baby whenever you want. You’re not going to spoil your eight week old baby when you pick her up because she’s crying. If you want to let the baby sleep on your lap for two hours while you binge watch Downton Abbey, great! If you feel totally suffocated and can’t wait for her to sleep in her bassinet, that’s great too!

I was so paranoid about spoiling Nolan when he was a baby that sometimes I let him cry even when I didn’t mind holding him, but more often I held him and then felt guilty about it. Ridiculous! Women in many African countries and Eastern cultures wear their babies nearly all day for months or even years, and I haven’t heard about an epidemic of overly indulged children in Namibia.

PS This also applies to feeding your baby. Just feed him. Even if it hasn’t been the arbitrary number of hours you’ve decided he should wait.

2. Sleeping with your baby doesn’t mean your baby will never sleep on his own. When Nolan was a baby, I didn’t let him sleep in our bed under any circumstances. I remember one instance where I sort of napped next to him on the couch, and I couldn’t believe upon waking up that I hadn’t smothered him. I was actually less worried about hurting him than I was paranoid about, you guessed it, spoiling him. I figured if I let him sleep in my bed, he would never sleep on his own and in a few years I would need a king-sized bed to fit me, my husband, and my teenaged son.

Over the past year and a half we have had some battles about sleeping. We’re in a decent place now where he knows he can’t come in our bed before 7am, but there were nights where he slept on the floor of the hallway because he didn’t want to sleep in his own bed…


Will slept on my chest for the first few weeks of his life because it’s the only way he would sleep at night. Now he’s three months old and he sleeps in his bassinet (mostly). I usually end up pulling him in around 5am so I can get another hour or two of sleep, but other than that he’s on his own and he’s fine. (Disclaimer: Obviously practice safe co-sleeping if you have your baby in your bed.)

3. Get stuff done when your baby is awake, instead of waiting until he is asleep. When I was home with Nolan, I would spend his waking hours gazing at him and wondering what the hell to do to occupy him.  Then when he was napping I would scramble to take a shower, wash dishes, do laundry, make phone calls, clean up, etc. Big mistake! Once they’re old enough to actually see what’s in front of them, babies can be occupied with watching you do all that stuff. Then when the baby naps, you can do important things like sleep, watch last night’s Tonight Show, eat food with two free hands, etc. (Disclaimer: This works about 80% of the time. The other 20% of the time your baby will not watch you contentedly and instead will cry until you pick him up. See above: Hold your baby.)


I’ll stop here for now. There is more advice but this post has become so long already!

Second (third? fourth?) time parents – what do you wish you knew the first time around? Even if you’re not a second-time parent yet, are there things you’ve already decided you’ll do differently next time around? Leave a comment!

Twenty Minute Turkey Taco Salad

Quick dinner recipes are advertised all over the place: cookbooks, blogs, magazines, and of course, Pinterest. But what I often find is that the 20 or 30-minute recipes have ingredient lists that looks like this:

   2 lbs potatoes, peeled and cubed

   2 onions, diced

   1 lb butternut squash, peeled, diced, and roasted

   1 cup cooked chicken breast, shredded

While those are all delicious ingredients, they require lots and lots of time.  Those types of recipes should really be called, “Lots of prep the night before, but 20 minutes to assemble before you eat it.” Or maybe something a little catchier.

This dinner is so fast because there is almost no chopping. It’s also incredibly versatile and you can change it up based on what you have in your house.


1 tablespoon olive oil

1 lb ground turkey (I prefer dark meat because I think the light is too rubbery)

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 cup salsa

1 can kidney or black beans, drained and rinsed

1 tablespoon chili powder

1/2 tablespoon cumin

1/2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)

romaine lettuce

tortilla chips

Topping Ideas: shredded cheddar, avocado, sour cream, chopped tomatoes, whatever you want!

Heat olive oil in large skillet and add turkey meat. Cook over medium heat, breaking up the meat until no longer pink. Add garlic and cook for an additional minute. Add chili powder, cumin, and salt and stir well, making sure all the meat is coated with the seasoning. Add salsa, beans, and a little water (I use the can the beans came in and fill it about halfway). Bring to a boil and then turn the heat down to low and cover. Cook for ten minutes.

While the meat finishes cooking, arrange the lettuce on your plates, add some tortilla chips and get your toppings ready. When the meat is done, arrange it on top of the chips and then add your toppings. You’re done!


cozy things for the weekend

It looks like another crummy, cold weekend ahead…

Head to the supermarket today before it gets gross out and pick up the ingredients for some comforting winter food.

Risotto is one of my favorite meals to cook (and eat, duh) in the winter. I love anything that’s made in one pot (fewer dishes), and it usually reheats fairly well. I don’t really mind the 20 or 30 minutes spent stirring at the stove to make traditional risotto, but when Barefoot Contessa published a recipe for risotto made in the oven, I thought it must be too good to be true. It’s not. The version she makes in the oven is a basic one with parmesan and peas, but you can absolutely take your favorite risotto twist and adapt it to this one. Whether it be mushroom, butternut squash, lobster, most of these ingredients can be added in the last steps of the recipe, after it has baked. Obviously, your add-ins should be fully cooked if they need to be.

I’ll also be making Smitten Kitchen’s Baked Potato Soup for the first time this weekend. It looks soooo good and I just bought the ingredients – they were cheap!

Watching a movie is always a good activity for bad weather. I’m WAY behind on seeing the big movies of last year. One that I actually saw is The Grand Budapest Hotel. I’m pretty neutral when it comes to Wes Anderson movies. I like some; I don’t care for others, but I really loved this one. It’s just a great story, it’s obviously beautiful because it’s Wes Anderson, and it’s funny and sweet. Good stuff.

Do you have a favorite cold weather recipe or cuddle-conducive movie? I’d love to hear about them in the comments!

the health of our beauty products

It has been nearly five years since I undertook the important but frustrating task of finding health and beauty products that are safe. When I was pregnant with Nolan, I read the book The Complete Organic Pregnancy and it was an eye-opener about the chemicals lurking in our everyday lives. It scared the crap out of me and made me angry that there seems to be no regulation in the beauty industry. Published back in 2006, the book still has a tremendous amount of important and interesting research, but some of its shopping resources are a little outdated.

Today, more and more companies and stores are jumping on the “natural” bandwagon. I say “natural” because unfortunately it’s one of those terms that is completely unregulated and unchecked. Pretty much any beauty product can bill itself as natural, even when it’s filled with known carcinogens. This article from Women’s Health Magazine explains the meaning behind some of the terms companies throw around, like natural and organic.

Sick and tired of being in Sephora, squinting to scrutinize ingredient labels while high on perfume fumes, I did some research and found Beautycounter. The website was sleek and user-friendly, the products looked beautiful, and there was a tremendous amount of research and information available on not just their own products, but also the beauty industry as a whole. My curiosity was definitely piqued.

A few days later while watching The Today Show, my ears perked up when I heard the reporter mention this new growing company Beautycounter, and I thought, “It’s the secret! It’s destiny! I’m meant to join Beautycounter!” Being that I was six months pregnant and in the middle of two moves, I held off for a while.

Here I am five months later and I’m ready to go. I’ve always been passionate about safe beauty products and now I found a company and products that exceed my expectations. Here is some info that should shock and enrage you:

– The European Union has banned or restricted over 1300 ingredients. The United States has banned (wait for it)…11.

– Of the 10,000 chemicals used in personal care products, only about 10% have been tested. According to The New York Times, “Unlike pharmaceuticals or pesticides, industrial chemicals do not have to be tested before they are put on the market. Under the law regulating chemicals, producers are only rarely required to provide the federal government with the information necessary to assess safety.”

– While many of the toxic ingredients used have names that don’t mean much to the general public (because they’re usually twenty syllables long), some are well-known dangers like lead, formaldehyde, and petroleum.

– When we see an ingredient listed like “fragrance,” that one word covers thousands of different chemicals. Companies don’t have to list them because they’re considered trade secrets.

– Beautycounter is a certified B Corp. “B Corps are certified by the nonprofit B Lab to meet rigorous standards of social and environmental performance, accountability, and transparency. They are to business what Fair Trade certification is to coffee or USDA Organic certification is to milk.” (source)

So armed with this info, what do you do? If you’re interested in products that are safe and healthy and not outrageously priced, check out Beautycounter. I’m happy to meet and show you the products over some coffee (or wine?). Here is a list of ingredients that you should avoid when shopping. Beautycounter will never use these.

You can also like my page on Facebook for updates on not just Beautycounter, but also articles and resources on healthy products and ideas for you and your family.

recipe chaos

I have never been good at organizing recipes. Up until recently, if I wanted to find a recipe I would have to look in one of several places: an actual cookbook, a shamefully messy file folder of magazine cutouts and scraps of paper with handwritten notes, my various Pinterest boards, the Food Network website, and various other cooking blogs.  That’s not including the phone calls to family members with questions like, “Remember that thing you made for that thing? Where did that recipe come from?” It was time consuming and completely inefficient. The worst part about it is that I know I made a ton of good meals that then were never made again because I found the recipe in some far corner of the internet and then never printed or saved it. RIP creamy pasta dish I made that one time.

A few weeks ago, I decided enough is enough. I made a folder on my browser titled Recipes and then a few subfolders for different meals and types of foods. Since then, every time I make something I like, I bookmark it in that folder. I was tempted to add recipes I hadn’t tried yet, but then it was a little overwhelming. Instead, I made a separate folder to put those in since I don’t actually know if they’re reliable yet.

Screen shot 2015-01-15 at 12.19.08 PMAs you can see, I edited the names of the first three recipes to make them more concise and I’ll do the same with the others when I have some free time.

If you’ve been feeling a little stagnant with your cooking, here are some places to look:

Barefoot Contessa cookbooks – At Home, Family Style, and Back to Basics are my favorites, but they are all good. Many of her recipes are also on the Food Network website.

Smitten Kitchen – I especially love her website for baking

 Martha Stewart and her more casual offshoot, Everyday Food

(I picked this image because I love Seth Meyers)

Dinner A Love Story – the cookbook and the blog are fantastic

Pioneer Woman – she seems to only make the most gluttonous food on her Food Network show, but her website has a wider variety of great recipes and ideas

What do you do, friends? Have you abandoned your cookbooks to rely solely on the internet? How do you keep track of it all? For now, I’ve organized my recipes by meal and main ingredient, but I wonder if maybe it should be more lifestyle-related. Perhaps separate them into folders like, Make Ahead, Fast Dinner, Dinner Party, or Stuff Nolan Actually Eats.

capsule wardrobe – I’m intrigued

Recently, one of my favorite bloggers Sarah James wrote a few posts about something she was implementing in her life: a capsule wardrobe. At first I thought it was some crazy expensive plan to have a company send you a new wardrobe, but then I kept reading and realized it’s a pretty genius way to simplify.

While I’ve watched enough of the Today Show to recite the common tips for organizing a wardrobe, I found that the guidelines were too easy to cheat on. Matt and I currently share a pretty small closet and we each have one dresser. That doesn’t leave a ton of room for clothes, especially when we only wear 20% of our wardrobes, according to a Wall Street Journal article. We’ve all been there, staring at a closet full of clothes lamenting, “I have nothing to wear.” As with a lot of areas in our lives, I think having more clothing choices creates MORE stress. Wouldn’t it be better to have a few pieces of clothing that you love and feel great in?

With a capsule wardrobe, you go through your clothes each season and donate/discard what you’re sure can go, pick a specified amount of items to keep in your closet or dresser, and then store the rest. Most versions of this recommend thirty-something items, including shoes and outerwear. What’s not included would be pajamas, workout clothes (what are those?), and under garments. You can make exceptions for fancy occasions. If I know I have a wedding in the fall and will be wearing a particular dress one time, I wouldn’t count that in my capsule. Sarah James’s capsule wardrobe looks like this:

She is obviously very fabulous and has great taste and isn’t toting around a drooling baby.

So this sounds pretty fun, right? Here’s my snag: my post-pregnancy, nursing mother wardrobe is not so chic. While I’ve lost my baby weight, I’m not yet fitting into my pre-baby pants. I also hate the the idea of buying new pants to fill the (hopefully brief) time until I fit into my old clothes. So that leaves me with…leggings and my favorite maternity jeans from AG. Being home with an infant means that I need clothing that’s comfortable, washable, and practical. Silk button downs are beautiful but don’t hold up so well to spit up and grabby baby hands. So I haven’t really solved this issue yet, but I’m working on it.

I started the process and cleaned out my dresser drawers. I have to say, it feels pretty great to have neat and sparsely filled drawers. Now I just have to find some clothes to put in the closet…

life around here

It’s been an eventful eight weeks since my last post. We celebrated Thanksgiving, prepared our house for the holidays, celebrated Hanukkah and Christmas with our families, cooked up some delicious meals, and oh yeah, I had a baby.


Will Henry was born on November 17th and his delivery was a complete 180 from Nolan’s. I hope to write up my birth story in the next few weeks before I’ve forgotten everything. Did you know Nolan’s was featured on Design Mom back in 2011?

Nolan has adjusted pretty well to being a brother. With Will being young and immobile, Nolan’s life hasn’t changed too much. We’ll see what happens when Will starts taking Nolan’s toys…



For now, I’ve been soaking up this cute baby’s smile and cooking up a storm. I made this super fast and healthy-ish pasta for lunch today; this chicken chili was so easy and tasty, but I recommend using half the chili powder; this roast chicken is probably my favorite chicken dish of all time: juicy chicken, crunchy French bread croutons, sweet onions, yum.



IMG_4334Stay warm, friends!